Tuesday 7th February is a big deal for me these days. Two years ago my life changed in a way I could never have foreseen.
I’m not going to re visit the past, as if you’ve been following my blog you’ll be clued up on that one. But what I do want to do is tell you how it is now. So are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.
Originally my plan was to post this on the actual date of my Anosmic Anniversary, but then I changed my mind. The reason being was that I wanted to experience it on my own. In the past I’ve written about what has been happening to me, my thoughts and feelings as they occurred. This was because it was ongoing, a day to day experience that I was continually going through. It was a thing that hurt so much, managing one day at a time was an achievement in itself. I needed something to help me express myself and this came in the form of my blog. Writing it down helped, and still does.
My Anniversary number 2 started like any normal day. I got up jumped around my living room a bit, this is called exercise I think, did some stretching, then writing. But not this blog, my website instead asongtowrite. I wasn’t going to work until 4pm, so my intention was to stay as busy as possible meaning I wouldn’t think about it too much.
I knew that I would eventually have to acknowledge this day though, so I sat down quietly and just let the thoughts and emotions come. Reflecting back on the last two years, I remembered how it felt when I realized I’d lost my sense of smell and taste. My devastation, the sadness of my loved ones, the loss, my disgust when my Parosmia reared its ugly head. Read this post Parosmia stinks! if you want some insight into that one. Then my dangerously severe weight loss when I stopped eating. The list goes on and on.
I thought, and let myself hurt, let myself feel whatever I wanted and it was a release as I began to realise that I wasn’t that person anymore. Don’t get me wrong I still have Anosmia and Parosmia, ugh! However I also have my life, which is so much better than it was. My writing which I would have never have discovered if I hadn’t started this blog. My family and husband who have stuck by me always. Also ta da! My sense of smell which has returned slightly. My Parosmia is also better, onions and garlic are still a no no, but I no longer have to put my finger over my nose in order to eat. Here we go, another link….. Nobody nose.
The best part for me was definitely some of my sense of smell coming back. I think I’ve motioned in another post about my first experience, but I’m going repeat it anyway. I had been writing in my office, come guest bedroom. I always burnt a scented candle in there just in case some of the smell came back to me, also because I loved the ambience. I remember leaving the room for some reason and blowing out the candle. I came back later and was overwhelmed by the smell of sandalwood, spices and perfume that had lingered in the room once I had left.I was so shocked that I burst into tears. My husband came dashing up the stairs thinking something terrible had happened, and when I told him he gave me a big hug saying how wonderful it was.
Oh yes wasn’t it just and it has got better. The sweeter more floral notes of perfume are coming through now instead of a distorted vinegar smell. I occasionally get a faint smell of my husbands’ cologne, and even the herb, thyme, if I rub it really hard between my fingers gives off a faint aroma, don’t get me wrong that isn’t what his cologne smells like by the way! I still cant taste food properly, but most of it doesn’t give me that disgusting distorted taste anymore. I feel healthier and people who haven’t seen me say I look it too.
So back to my sitting down quietly. As I sat there letting myself think some more, I was overwhelmed with positive feelings. I’d come so far, achieved so much and knew I could face my life with a lot more optimism. I’ve now completely fallen in love with writing it fills me with a sense of fulfilment. I’ve started a fantasy writing course, am submitting the odd article or two as well, and I’m writing a book. Not about my anosmia, I think that will happen one day however. Its a fantasy novel that I’ve got my claws into….oops no pun unintended , and I’m loving it. Any talk about dragons and I’m away with the fairy’s, oops another one!
I have also started two wonderful Facebook groups that are well established now and I love. My anosmia group ‘Living Well With Anosmia’, to support and encourage other people who are also experiencing this life changing condition, and my writing group ‘All Write’, which bring together wonderful writers to share, support each other and showcase their writing.
But do you know what the best bit is? I’m happy. I have dreams’ and ambitions again, even though I’m bit of an oldie now! Yes life still throws some crap my way, I still have my bad days. But the good days are beating them by a long way. So I’m going to stand up now, my back is killing me, shake myself off and get on with my good life.
Have you overcome a major hurdle in your life? Please let me know in the comments if you would like to.